Writings of a Phobophobe.
I can’t say I’m just feeling a tad sad,
Never thought it would hurt this bad.
A friend I’d love to be,
But a friend I wouldn’t dare be.
I guess we need to stop at fifth,
Because it’s you – I can’t fall in love with.
A bond like that I would try to break,
An ache beyond this I shouldn’t take.
Can I leave?
Should I leave?
I’m leaving.
Wait, why am I even asking?
As if it’ll give us greater meaning,
Or an opportunity for understanding.
At least now I’m thinking,
Sometimes I need to stop believing.
This time my heart is really aching,
I don’t wanna do anything demeaning.
Just like you do,
I always think I’ll get through this phase.
But when I close my eyes,
All I can still see is your face.
Feelings you’ll never see,
Romantic we’ll never be.
Efforts I’ll never see,
Like me they’ll never be.
You’re dramatic;
You don’t understand banter.
We seriously can’t connect,
On so many levels.
In the crowd
I saw your face.
It reminded me
Of a familiar place.
We were huddling
Around the furnace.
Pottery,
In each other’s gaze.
We were crazy
In a mad love daze.
Fell out
After 306 days.
You said,
“Can’t keep up with the pace.”
I said,
“This is not a bloody race.
We should be partners,
In a lifelong maze.”
Others thought
I seem unfazed
I told them,
‘Honestly, I frequent this place.’
Numbness is what I’m feeling.
Blandness is what I’m tasting.
Staleness is what I’m smelling.
Darkness is what I’m seeing.
Silence is what I’m hearing.
I no longer live,
For there’s nothing I’m seeking.
How is it I’m not dying,
When the heart is not beating?
Experiencing death,
How am I still living?
Kept mum about you,
For there is no longer meaning.
“I’m broken inside can’t you see?
Will you stop doing this to me?”
He said in an exaggerated scowl, bloodshot eyes.
“Don’t look back in anger,” he heard her say.
He lit his cigarette, thirteenth in the hour, and threw the lighter she bought for him – at her.
It ruptured at her feet. So did their love.
killgwen 