Done and Dusted.

And at times, I miss you.

I miss how we stumble out of clubs,

Young, intoxicated, and didn’t give a fuck.

I miss the way you say goodbye.

I saw from your eyes,

I know sometimes you lie.

You’ve always fancied me,

You’ve always thought about kissing me.

I feigned ignorance,

I wanted to see your persistence.

You said to me you’re always honest,

But no —

Just this one,

You never would want bluntness.

Sometimes you held my hand,

And I know you wanted to hug.

I could hear you resisting your heart,

I wished you went with your gut.

There were many things strangely accurate.

You were right about me,

But never believed in us.

The number of times —

I bit my lips wishing

Instead it was yours.

The number of times —

You held me up,

Instead of holding me close.

Each time we denied our hearts

From every chance of never being apart.

And at times, I miss you.

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Glee.

Everyone’s got their vice.

A gentlemanly swindler.

A high-rolling miser.

A family-driven chauvinist.

A romantic cheater.

A glamorous gold digger.

A kind sex addict.

A life-loving drug abuser.

A religious cultee.

What you would see;

Always half of what it is.

They ask to fight or to flee;

Perhaps just let it be.

Blind.

Cash we seek;

Glory we chase,

But man, I’d tell you that’s just surface.

Even with all the success

But our hearts misplaced,

It’ll be real doom

No matter what we taste.

But that’s really just a peek

At the consequence we’ll face.

“We want happiness,”

And that’s all we say.

Look at us now —

Alive but dead.

What do we have now?

“Blindness to kindness,” I’d say.

Coffee and Bread.

Silently side by side,

We laid.

It was unspoken chemistry

In bed.

I wanted hugs,

You stayed.

Just long enough to get to

My head.

You drove to get us coffee

And bread.

It was me

You played.

You have nothing,

You said.

All that I wanted was you

Instead.

Your smile and kisses on my

Forehead.

You left then — your eyes

Were dead.

Each night I prayed, I plead and

I wept.

I wished we had been normal and went on

A date.

You never came back and I call that

Heart break.

Now all I remember is your charm that

I hate.

Be.

Can’t you see

You should let me be?

Before I flee,

Just set me free.

Held captive by twines of the city,

All we needed was our minds at liberty.

Electric.

Brilliance is not a spark of wonder.

It is a consistent and persistent current that

One day gets strong enough to cause a sunder.

Disregard.

Worn down facade,

Wall paint like feelings — they fade.

Her happiness,

He thwarted.

Her birthday,

He disregarded.

He wrote her a card,

But there was no cake.

He thought long and hard,

And said,

“It’s time to part —

A decision I’ve made.”

She’s scarred,

For 4 years less than a decade.

So dead in her heart,

But alive in her head.

Mere.

She only speaks

Of what she fears.

He only seeks

What he wants to hear.

Darkness forgets

Whatever held dear.

Perhaps when the sun rises

It’s when it all turns clear.

Leap.

Grabbed some gin,

And tobacco by tins.

Going for a spin,

After an awful din.

All I wanted was to win,

Gambling was my only sin.

Lost it all, not even a lint

Left for me, no hopes to pin.

I leapt – all I saw was blue and green,

“Drink like a fish,” says Jim Beam.

Forgetful I am, of yesterday’s dreams

I’m now just a fish without a fin.

Desperate and unable to swim,

Repaying my debt, my life cost a mint.

The last of my grin,

Now gone with the wind.

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