I love learning. I love to gain wisdom. I love to grow wiser. It’s not about book smarts or general intelligence. It’s the wisdom of attaining happiness. Happiness and success. I can’t stand being stagnant. I need to keep moving. Keep going. Rest and keep going. Life has so much to offer, and choosing to just feel contentment forever is a pity.

I can’t imagine settling for a partner that will never crave or seek improvement in life. No matter how slow I go, I never want to stop. I don’t want someone who stops midway and wants to sit down forever on the side of the path because he’s walked enough. I would love someone that’s able to walk on a similar pace, someone that takes care of himself well to walk the journey, someone that’s able to run together, slow down together, enjoy the flowers together and talk endlessly about the sun and the stars together. Someone that during the nights even when we don’t see where we’re going, or when the road is seemingly endless, he holds my hand and shares my optimism, and shows his courage to walk uncommon roads. Someone that seeks out new passions, attempts to understand the shades, highlights and colors of life. Someone that seeks depth in understanding me. 

And a partner that aboveall, chooses to love me every single day. That’s the one I wanna be with. Because marriage isn’t the end goal, marriage is a mere promise. Spending a lifetime together and experiencing all that life has to offer, that’s what I want. It’s not a goal. It’s a process, and I want to be able to choose this person everyday. That’s beauty, that’s happiness, and that’s the ultimate wisdom I seek.

P.S. Pardon typos and grammars. It has yet to be vetted.


Through my entire life, I feel like an epitome of a confusing mix of preferences from opposite ends of the spectrum. In which I would plainly explain myself as a pragmatic being trapped in overtly crazy outer shell. I feel extremely energetic with people, or even making new friends and also feel incredibly comfortable with myself.

I would categorize this as an “on-the-fence” personality, whatever person or tests or quiz or analysis always puts me right in the middle of a chart. It was difficult back then when I was at the age of finding my identity.

The most amazing thing and also the strange thing is, I braved insults and judgements on my personality from people of all walks, and each time it made me even more determined to be me. And now, I’ve grown to be at ease with it. The kind of ease my younger would’ve never been able to imagine.

I also had all sorts of friends, neighborhood punks to ace scholars, or even neighborhood punks which turned to ace scholars. I became seemingly aware of what others say of who I was or what I’m like, not because I wanted to improve on my personality, but because I realized there was a major discrepancy with the perception of me and who I truly am. Every single judgement were so way-off. Then, it became a conscious decision to dedicate time to understand myself, my image and how to portray myself better.

But I guess the hardest part to accept here is that there never was one person who knew me through and through. It was hard to relate deeply to another being.

From passion vs paycheck, lust vs love, arts vs business, etc.
I will not choose either.

Thus, I’m an idealist. I will choose the option that appeases both.

And fortunately/unfortunately, nothing falls quite in between.


You and your idealistic self will bring the death of all kinds of relationship. I could tell it has been hard holding yourself to emotional and moral standards, only the mirror could fathom.

You’re all grown up. It’s safe now, to let your emotions be seen. You’ve been through enough to know where it’s safe not to be reigned. You finally know who would stick through the weird and lovely sides of you. And even so no matter what happens, you have you. You, that believe in what you always have. I know you know how powerful your own feelings could be, you’ve seen and felt them when it was premature. It’s time to face them head on yet again, with newfound wisdom and maturity honed over the years.

I trust that you can be safe now, to feel depth and soulfulness. And I wish you love and luck, garnering all the good fortune and karma accumulate, to find that one meaningful kindred spirit.


“Those who had left during the hard times, the struggles and desperation, they’ll see the smile of the one who’d risen from the debris, without a trace of suffering.” – G

The only constant is change. And I believe the way to survival is adaptability and flexibility. People come and go in my life and somehow I feel there’s little people who can fully grasp me, because I will change. I believe the inability to change will cause one to be vulnerable. And it will hurt, drastically.

It’s okay that you’ll dislike me. Because I was never born to please you. It’s okay that you talk shit just for the sake of making small talk to others. It’s really okay. But some day, one day, I’ll be bigger and better than people who just wanna be mean for the sake of being mean.

I’m not gonna be fake to you. I feel no need to. Neither do I have to be completely honest. I’m not lying to you. But I’m just not obliged to tell you every little detail of my life. I have stronger expectations in regards to principles of my own than anyone else. I would do my best to ensure I make the best decisions. I believe in live and let live, and I practice what I’d preached.

Respect ourselves, and learn to respect each and every other being. Be humble, be sincere. Live comfortably, not extravagantly. Love honestly, not desperately.

I will not hate anybody for leaving me in a lurch. But I’m telling you, you’re not gonna bring me down.

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