For the words left unwritten;
Next life they’d be already given.
Of passion left unspoken;
Joys be kept till they’re ready to open.
Writings of a Phobophobe.
For the words left unwritten;
Next life they’d be already given.
Of passion left unspoken;
Joys be kept till they’re ready to open.
Chronicles of my heart
Back seat of that bus.
Adolescent guts —
You bit me hard
Down my spine,
I felt that rush.
“Pull me closer,”
“If you must.”
Trickle and shiver,
That virgin gush of lust.
Killed with that smile,
Please let it last.
Paintings of you,
Made with brushes of lust.
Play with this child,
All night till dusk.
Now close up that mile,
Come into me fast.
All you wanted was never ever;
I could be that never never ever.
–
She wanted that happily ever;
But I could be the one that wavers never.
–
We thought of forever never,
Damn we knew it wasn’t forever ever.
–
Come and be my ever lover,
I promise I’ll never ever.
And at times, I miss you.
I miss how we stumble out of clubs,
Young, intoxicated, and didn’t give a fuck.
I miss the way you say goodbye.
I saw from your eyes,
I know sometimes you lie.
You’ve always fancied me,
You’ve always thought about kissing me.
I feigned ignorance,
I wanted to see your persistence.
You said to me you’re always honest,
But no —
Just this one,
You never would want bluntness.
Sometimes you held my hand,
And I know you wanted to hug.
I could hear you resisting your heart,
I wished you went with your gut.
There were many things strangely accurate.
You were right about me,
But never believed in us.
The number of times —
I bit my lips wishing
Instead it was yours.
The number of times —
You held me up,
Instead of holding me close.
Each time we denied our hearts
From every chance of never being apart.
And still sometimes, I miss you so so much.
Clank.
Another one of those hearts got broken.
Aching through the flanks,
Alone and solemn.
Me and you against the world,
Seems like it was just an old folk tale,
When there are ones against your fleur,
Hands in the pocket no matter bail or jail.
Silently side by side,
We laid.
It was unspoken chemistry
In bed.
I wanted hugs,
You stayed.
Just long enough to get to
My head.
You drove to get us coffee
And bread.
It was me
You played.
You have nothing,
You said.
All that I wanted was you
Instead.
Your smile and kisses on my
Forehead.
You left then — your eyes
Were dead.
Each night I prayed, I plead and
I wept.
I wished we had been normal and went on
A date.
You never came back and I call that
Heart break.
Now all I remember is your charm that
I hate.
Worn down facade,
Wall paint like feelings — they fade.
Her happiness,
He thwarted.
Her birthday,
He disregarded.
He wrote her a card,
But there was no cake.
He thought long and hard,
And said,
“It’s time to part —
A decision I’ve made.”
She’s scarred,
For 4 years less than a decade.
So dead in her heart,
But alive in her head.
Going double
It spells trouble.
Son of a gun,
They call it fun.
Evil is love
Masked as a dove.
Twisted fate
And undying hate.
Left at the end,
A broken heart to mend.
She only speaks
Of what she fears.
He only seeks
What he wants to hear.
Darkness forgets
Whatever held dear.
Perhaps when the sun rises
It’s when it all turns clear.