Intermit.

Day 60

Can’t believe It’s been two months since I stopped smoking completely. A little longer than how long I’ve learnt Korean for. 깜사함니다 to all my loved ones who supported me (especially smoker friends who try not to smoke around me) I’m always determined to achieve objectives that I set, but I never thought I would have done so with so little consciousness. It’s like somehow something just clicked at the back of my head and made it happen even though it was a painful initial phase.

I feel a lot better.

No more nonsense quit zits. My vocals became less stiff and I don’t feel out of breath as quickly when I sing and run now, which makes me feel so much fitter and happier. My diets are regular now, hardly have any snacks and pretty sensitive to the smell of cigarette smoke.

Sometimes certain words that people say and circumstances combined together can create tremendous impact in another persons life. Thank you for inspiring me and leaving me a lovely memory.

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Indirect.

“I’m broken inside can’t you see?
Will you stop doing this to me?”

He said in an exaggerated scowl, bloodshot eyes.

“Don’t look back in anger,” he heard her say.

He lit his cigarette, thirteenth in the hour, and threw the lighter she bought for him – at her.

It ruptured at her feet. So did their love.

Intermit.

Day 28

It’s been 28 days or a month mofos! And feeling goddamn awesome about it. The 4th week coincided with my female cycle, so the moment the week ended, my skin cleared from both the quitzits and hormonal zits. I feel so relieved looking at the mirror, I finally saw progress, still left with some nasty scars post crazy zits.

Random food craving completely gone, chest tightness gone too. I sleep better than 1-2weeks ago. There were also barely female cramps. Put myself out there to meet all my fellow friends who smoke for drinks and survived again. Realised though that I do weirder stuff after drinking as compared to 5 years ago.  I also gotten mozzie bites more frequently and it’s pretty crazy. I’ve like 10 on my body now. Not sure if these are due to cutting smokes?

Anddddd after the week, my reward to myself is to visit the salon to get my hair washed. 😂

Intermit.

Day 21:

Much easier, I’m hardly restless and can concentrate at work once again. I find the smell pretty unpleasant and sometimes it chokes me. I can cut down my recent snacking and sugar now, please let me lose some pounds again (2 more packs of chips left, I overbought). Gonna start cultivating the habit of ingesting more liquids, hopefully too, that helps with clearing up my skin.

Cultivating good habits involve rewarding oneself. Thus, did french manicure and this time I don’t have to worry it turns yellow. Now I worked hard and this is something I feel I can duly and comfortably take compliments for (at this point at least).

Intermit.

Day 14

I thought I would’ve blogged much earlier. In fact I almost did. Had the page open on 2nd, 3rd, 5th and 7th day, but didn’t get down to doing it. And then time started to pass more quickly. Met fellow old friends, and some even for drinks but managed to stay focused. I’m really happy this way, and if you love me, support my little lifelong project.

On hindsight, I should’ve done more research. 2 weeks and I feel so much better, thought things should be looking better now too. Dammit, quitzits and insomnia are freaking real. Oh well, let’s see in 3-4 more weeks!

Thank goodness I picked up reading again. On empty moments, Dazai-San and Murakami-San would keep me company. Potato chips and seaweed to help with the munching. Always have my drinks with straws. Focus on texting better to occupy the mind. Exercising more to help with potential weight gain. Best time to cultivate awesome habits.

Once I’m ready, I can quit my over-indulgence chips again. Maybe… I should start replacing my chips with wasabi nuts. Pretty motivating. I’m definitely getting hungry more often and also better appetite. I’ve been craving breakfast too.

Intermit.

Day 1

Countless thoughts spurred me on to decide something for myself today. The date was never special but, it’s now the day we made it happen. It’s bearable but fighting a habit and urge of almost 10 years isn’t easy. I bought a pack of potato chips to cope. I can’t wait to feel great without these stupid cravings again.

I got through the 3 hardest part of the day without it. 10.30am, 1.30pm and 4.30pm. I’m going to win this. This is going to be real long one, Project M.

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