Writings of a Phobophobe.
They say,
The moon is sentimental
The sun is passionate
And the stars,
They are remarkably special.
They shine through the darkest places.
Not one,
But all of them do.
And you are,
The sun, the moon and the stars.
It isn’t just a part of you that sparkles,
Every part of you do.
And when she sees him,
She’d flash a smile of a hundred suns –
That’s the warmth he brought to her heart.
“Why do you like me?”
He asked.
“I don’t know.”
Maybe, I do know.
Maybe, because you make me happy.
No, wait, I wasn’t happy before we met.
You were full of assumptions,
And I was unavailable.
Maybe it’s punishment,
I was happy the first time we met.
I was happy when we spoke,
It felt like my heart was truly belonged for the first time.
When you were mean,
I was unhappy,
but I couldn’t hate.
Then I was always happy subsequently,
The multiple times we met.
When you shared your day,
When you touched me,
My skin felt truly happy,
My body was happy,
I was happy.
I was happy when we held hands,
Even though ever so briefly.
I was happy when we kissed,
Simple and passionate ones alike.
Sometimes my happiness was so extreme,
I felt embarrassed being happy.
I was the most happy when I see you smile,
I like to know that you’re happy.
I worry,
When you don’t smile.
It’s strange to worry.
At least you’re smiling when I see you.
Somehow I want to be near you,
Like you’re my sun,
I want to orbit.
But if you’re the sun,
Many other planets orbit.
I will not be your one and only.
Maybe I can live with that,
Maybe I can’t.
Then in that case I’ll be your sun.
The sun that for you she burns,
For you she’s lit.
I remember this sun. This is the happy sun. Feeling how it burns on my skin, it reminded me of happy times. Happy times when I was in Korea traveling on my own and taking photos with newly acquainted strangers. It was the same sun when I exited the fruit farm in Shanghai. It was the same sun when we set out with the yacht at Punggol Marina. The same sun I woke up to, to fall asleep on the bench of a neighborhood swimming pool. And all of these were times when I was present and indulging in that moment, of how beautiful the world, of how beautiful it is, to just live.
killgwen 